Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
That is the advice many past Give A Christmas recipients would share with those unsure of applying to the Burlington County Times’ holiday gift assistance fund this year.
“I think a lot of people are scared to let people know their story,” said Crystal Pfeiffer, a single mom of three children who received assistance from the program in 2020. “If you need help, definitely ask around for help because there’s a lot of people that do help around the holidays.”
More: 2021 Give A Christmas program will help families in need during second pandemic holidays
“I was always like, ‘I got it, I’m going to do everything on my own,’” she said. “But times do get rough and sometimes we all do need a little bit of help.”
Guilt, shame and the pressure to appear resilient are some common reasons why people struggle to ask for help, according to Mark Sigmund, a therapist at Retreat Behavioral Health in Philadelphia.
“We see it all the time, people struggle to reach out for help because, a lot of times, it makes them feel very vulnerable,” said Sigmund, who is from Palmyra. “It hurts somebody’s pride.”
More: COVID, Cancer and Slime: How Give A Christmas helped one family celebrate in 2020
Coming from a family that refuses support or denies they need it is how many people become averse to seeking help, he said.
“A lot of families have sort of this tough exterior where there’s family secrets and, if the family is struggling at all, they try to handle it internally,” he said. “Kids are taught, ‘Don’t reach out for help, keep this a secret, protect the family name.’”
Growing up around parents who fail to recognize when they are struggling is another way people learn to avoid reaching out in times of need, he said.
“People tend to isolate (when struggling),” said Sigmund. “One of the ways to really fix things is to actually get help from a good support system.”
More: Give A Christmas helped family welcome adopted son, buy gifts despite hardships in 2020
To combat the urge to isolate, start small, he said. Grab coffee with a friend and cultivate a sense of security with them. It’s unnecessary to jump into the big stuff right away — or even at all. Forming a connection with another person can be all someone needs to feel safe advocating for themself.
“You would be amazed at how much pressure that takes off the individual when they can let other people in and other people can give them assistance,” he said.
More: A step-by-step guide to applying for the Give A Christmas program
Sigmund also stressed the need for altruism all year round.
“It’s so important for people to realize that there’s a lot of people that are suffering around the holidays,” he said. “The biggest thing that I see both on the mental health side and the drug and alcohol side is (that) support is the most important thing to get through the holidays.”
About the Give A Christmas program:
The Burlington County Times’ annual Give A Christmas program helps struggling Burlington County families celebrate the holidays by providing them with gift cards to purchase presents.
With the help of the Times’ partner organization, NJ 211 — a nonprofit that connects people with community resources that provide living necessities — applying for assistance is easier than ever.
Burlington County residents who require assistance can text GAC to 898211 to check their eligibility. Eligibility is based on income and recipients may include, but are not limited to, parents with sick children, single-family households, people struggling with addiction and people who are unemployed.
Applications for assistance will be accepted through Nov. 21. There is no deadline for donations.
Anyone interested in donating can do so at www.burlingtoncountytimes.com/giveachristmas.
For questions about the Give A Christmas program, contact Executive Editor Audrey Harvin at aharvin@gannett.com.
Aedy Miller covers education and the economy for the Burlington County Times, Courier-Post, and The Daily Journal. They are a multimedia journalist from Central Jersey and a recent graduate of the George Washington University.
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